"This I enjoyed beyond any other period of my life"
-U.S. Grant
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| Grant as a West Point graduate in 1843. |
Most biographies of Ulysses S. Grant touch briefly on his early "romantic" interests before he met his future wife Julia Dent. Most accounts don't delve deeply into this subject or the individuals involved, probably mostly due to lack of records during this early stage of his life. Many of the stories about his younger days were gleaned from interviews with folks associated with Grant during this time period. The credibility and/or accuracy of the information is many times difficult to determine. Most of Grant’s interaction with these early female “interests” is somewhat of a mystery, the specifics of which are most likely lost to the ages. Maybe over time more evidence will surface to fill in the blanks of history. Nevertheless we do have enough evidence to paint an interesting, if somewhat incomplete, picture of this oft-overlooked subject of his early life.
There are two individuals that Grant is said to have expressed interest in. One was a Mary Ann King the other Catherine "Kate" Elizabeth Lowe. Both of the young women were acquaintances of the Grant family in some way or another. Their stories merge somewhat in the memorable summer of 1841. Although Grant would not go on marry these young women, they and members of their families would have an effect on the course of his life. They would also serve to illustrate the differences in the northern and southern United States during that trying era. They would also showcase the compassion and loyalty which Grant exhibited towards his friends.
Mary Ann King is said to have been a childhood friend and even a "boyish sweetheart" of Grant in Georgetown, Ohio. Mary Ann was born in Georgetown to parents Victor and Mary Ann (Mickle) King, both of Pennsylvania birth, on February 4th, 1824. As a child Ulysses Grant was probably more infatuated with horses than girls. I’m sure he occasionally played in mixed company in certain social situations, but romance was probably far from his young mind. Grant's parents were conservative Methodists and as such probably did not allow Ulysses to fraternize excessively. Though as he grew older and noticed other young men around him becoming interested in the opposite sex, and hormones began to take hold, Grant, I'm sure, would have started to take more notice himself.
As 17 year old Grant departed for West Point Military Academy in 1839, he is purported to have written a special poem for King. He is said to have created this acrostic, a poem having the first letter of each stanza matching the letters of her name...
My country calls and I obey,
And shortly I'll be on my way
Removed from home, far in the west,
Yet you with home and friends are blest
Kindly then remember me,
(I'll also often think of thee)
Nor forget the soldier story
Gone to gain the field of glory.
It is said that Grant kept up a correspondence with Mary while attending West Point. During his time at West point it was claimed that he stated, “My only thought at West Point was of her” and that he had "someone on his mind...and talked about getting married...". These statements are claimed as most likely referring to Mary.
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| An 1830's view of West Point. |
While at West point his transitional first year in 1839 young Grant wrote his impressions of the place to his cousin: "...I ...am going to tell you a long story about this prettiest of places West Point. So far as it regards natural attractions it is decidedly the most beautiful place that I have ever seen; here are hills and dales, rocks and river; all pleasant to look upon. From the window near I can see the Hudson; that far famed, that beautiful river with its bosom studded with hundreds of snow white sails." But Grant went on to explain, somewhat humorously, of his homesickness and youthful angst: "I have now been here about four months and have not seen a single familiar face or spoken to a single lady. I wish some of the pretty girles of Bethel were here just so I might look at them. but fudge! confound the girles." He did resolve: "The fact is if a man graduates here he [is] safe fer life. let him go where he will. There is much to dislike but more to like. I mean to study hard and stay if it be possible."
Grant was granted a ten week furlough after his second term at West Point. A friend described his impression of the young cadet upon his arrival home in Ohio: "He attracted some attention. At that time he was muscular but slim, indifferent and shy, but very friendly to those who knew him. He was 'fairish,' with sandy hair, stocky and active." Grant was said to have passed "many contented hours with Mary King" during his furlough. A time Grant would describe as having "...enjoyed beyond any other period of my life."
Grant took art instruction at West Point and was known to have given his artwork to friends and family as gifts. After returning to West Point grant is said to have sent Mary King one of his watercolors, a West Point scene, bearing his signature "U.H. Grant." This signature piece was apparently very special since it was claimed to be the only piece he ever signed. It was so special that when a wealthy businessman offered to purchase it for $20,000 the offer was declined with the reasoning: "It is a treasure that can't be bought."
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| A Painting given by U.S. Grant to Kate Lowe c. 1842. |
It is said that one reason Mary and Grant were never married was because Mary's father Victor "...didn't think Grant was a very promising young man, and bitterly opposed the match." Although it's aslo been stated that even after Grant was engaged to his wife Julia he continued to correspond with Mary. Among the correspondence Grant sent a sketch to her during the Mexican War in 1846 depicting the scenery of Monterrey, Mexico. There is no further indication that Grant ever saw Mary in person again after the war.
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| A depiction of Grant's graduation from West Point in 1843. |
Catherine "Kate" Elizabeth Lowe was born March 1817 in New York to James B. and Mehitable Lowe. The story of Kate Lowe's experience with Grant actually starts with her eldest brother John W. Lowe. John was born in 1809 in New Jersey and after moving to New York, his father died when he was 14, making him the provider for his sister Kate and the rest of the family.
Lowe later moved to Batavia, Ohio in 1833, became an attorney and established a close friendship with the Grant family. Grant's father Jesse was in Lowe's office one day when the subject of his son came up, he stated "I don't know just what to make of Ulysses." to which Lowe, being a man interested in military matters, replied "Send him to West Point." He instructed Jesse to contact their congressman and he would put in a recommendation for Ulysses to receive an appointment. Grant received his appointment to West Point and in the spring of 1841 John Lowe sent for his sister Kate, who still lived in New York. He told her Grant could accompany her west on his furlough from the academy, but she declined thinking it inappropriate to make the journey alone with a young man she had never met. Even though she declined, as fate would have it, they ended up meeting along the way in Harrisburg, PA. Kate first met Ulysses's grandmother Simpson whom he was escorting west. Kate and Ulysses became "very well acquainted" on this trip. She described cadet Grant as "...a fine looking young man. He had clear eyes and good features; but was chiefly attractive on account of his splendid carriage and soldierly bearing. Though somewhat bashful, he was never awkward....His most charming characteristic, however, was his extreme courtesy; he was full of kind and delicate attentions."
Late in her life Kate recalled one telling occurrence which happened while they were delayed at Pittsburg, Pennsylvania. They were walking over a covered bridge and she told Ulysses she was fearful of two men that were trailing them, but he reassured her saying "Never mind, there is no cause for nervousness. The men are not likely to interfere with us." Kate was still hesitant and proposed that they go back to which Ulysses replied "By no means. Never turn back." It was this propensity to always drive forward she would see him exhibit the rest of his life.
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| Pittsburg, Pennsylvania in the 1840's. |
Grant himself would say of his summer furlough: "Those ten weeks were shorter than one week at West Point..." In addition to riding horses with Grant that blissful summer, Kate was also invited to visit his parents and spent an enjoyable week with the family. The two met more over the summer, Grant traveling to visit Kate at her brother John's home, making the best of the comparatively short time to get to know one another.
It was difficult for Grant to return to West Point, leaving behind a carefree summer spent with family, friends and some alluring young women. The following year, 1842, Kate Lowe paid Grant a visit and attended a ball with him at West Point. Their relationship never moved forward and Kate accepted the attentions of another. She married Matthew Rotherty on April 25th, 1843 in Brooklyn, New York. Grant always the gentlemen visited the newlyweds at their New York City home after graduating West Point on his journey home for furlough in 1843. It was on this visit that Grant would generously offer Kate a piece of his artwork. True to his humble nature he said he liked her choice and "You know, I am not much of a painter. I stood 17 in my class as a painter, but I like the one you have chosen, because it's the picture of a West Point view that I like." After this the couple accompanied him to the circus in New York City, "to see the riding, of which he was very fond."
Other than a brief visit before his departure to the Mexican War in 1844 the next time they met was on his departure for his assignment to the west coast in 1852. On this visit Kate described Captain Grant saying, "I did not recognize him - he had changed so." and recalled a moment highlighting Grant's affection toward children, "While we talked the maid brought in my baby...William E. ...about two years old. Mr Grant praised the baby, and wanted it to come to him. But the boy wouldn't do it. But Mr. Grant wouldn't give up, and kept on coaxing the baby until it went to him, and he took it on his knee and played with the boy, and seemed to like him very much. He then reminded me of his words that he spoke on the bridge: 'never go back.'" That was to be the last time they would ever meet.
Then came the love of his life Julia Boggs Dent. After graduating West Point in 1843 Grant first visited Ohio on furlough. Showing his active interest in women he stated " I was impatient to get on my uniform and see how it looked, and probably wanted my old school-mates, particularly the girls, to see me in it."
After furlough Grant was stationed at Jefferson Barracks in St. Louis, Missouri. His West Point roommate Frederick Dent invited him to visit his family who had a farm nearby. Grant visited the Dent family and eventually met his future wife, Fred's sister Julia, and asked for her hand in marriage in the spring of 1844. The marriage however would have to wait four long years as Grant was shipped off to the Mexican War.
Apparently Julia was aware of Grant's past as the following passage about a visit to Georgetown, OH after their marriage in 1848 relates...
"Georgetown seemed...charming to her [Julia] as she strolled along it's shady streets...Wherever she went she made a good impression...all were interested in the vivacious, well-mannered girl from St. Louis. By this time she had heard all about Kate Lowe, Mary King, and the daughters of Senator Thomas Morris, with whom Ulysses had gone horseback riding in his West Point days...Now he was back with his bride and the other girls took careful note of Julia Grant." -The Generals Wife: The Life of Mrs. Ulysses S. Grant by Ishbel Ross
I haven not found further reference to Grant's time with the daughters of Senator Thomas Morris. Morris was a close friend of the family and helped Jesse Grant attain his sons' appointment to West Point. It may just be that the girls were of a similar age to Grant, not necessarily that there was any romantic interest.
There's no doubt these young women had some affect on Grant's life as he was trying to find his place in the world. They likely played an integral role in his learning how to relate to the opposite gender as well. Eventually Grant's "love interests" and their families would find their fortunes cast on opposite sides of a nation torn apart, despite the differences Grant was always loyal to his friends....
John W. Lowe, whose life was beset by hardships, failures and loss, was very close with his sister Kate. Grant became a good friend of Lowe and they wrote each other often. Grant helped convince Lowe to join the military at the time of the Mexican War writing him in a letter from the field: "I should like very much to see you here in command of a volunteer company."
Lowe would again serve when the Civil War broke out as Colonel of the 12th Ohio Infantry. After his first engagement at Scary Creek, WV he was unfortunately accused of cowardice. Not long after he wrote this foreboding poem:
He lost his life, exposing himself to danger in what some say was a reckless bid to restore his name, during the battle of Carnifax Ferry, WV in September 1861. Grant as president, remembering the family of his old friend, appointed Colonel Lowe's widow as postmistress of Xenia, OH to try to help ease her burden.
Catherine "Kate" Elizabeth Lowe Rothery moved from New York City to Newark, New Jersey by 1870 with her husband Matthew, where he was a successful businessman in the prosperous industrializing northern city. They continued living in the city, watching it grow and change with immigration, showcasing the rapid progress of the northern cities of the era.
The lived into their 80's outliving all but 2 of their 6 children. Their son William E. , with whom Grant had played with as a toddler, interviewed his mother about Grant while working as a writer for the Los Angeles Herald in 1900. After her husband's death, Kate moved in with her son John J. E. in Massachusetts where she passed away in 1906 at the age of 89.
Mary Ann King Fulford married Virginia native John D. Fulford in Ohio on July 20th, 1848 about a month before Grant married Julia. They soon moved to Thibodaux, Louisiana where John was a successful businessman. Their fortunes changed dramatically during the Civil War. John's brother James who was living with them when war broke out is said to have left and joined the Confederate forces in North Carolina. John himself is even noted as having visited the Confederate camps at Corinth, Missisipi shortly after the Battle of Shiloh in April 1862, a battle which created controversy in Grant's career. By 1862 Thibodaux was occupied by northern forces and plantation owners were forced to pay their slaves wages, which they did begrudgingly. It was a tough time for businesses and the hardships continued after the close of the war. John did what he could but tragically died of a long illness in October of 1870, leaving his family in need. Grant became aware of the need and his loyalty and compassion shined though once again as he appointed Mary Fulford as Postmistress for Thibodaux. She only held the office for a short time, declining the office on advice from friends that it may not be appropriate. Regardless I'm sure the gesture was well appreciated.
Mary would have been witness to turbulent times in the south as the former white masters attempted to restore a system as close to the pre-war slavery as they could. Labor unions formed and the struggle sometimes turned bloody, such as in the Thibodaux Massacre of 1887.
Sources:
Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant (1885)
Ulysses S. Grant: Triumph Over Adversity by Brooks Simpson (2000)
Ulysses S. Grant: His Life and Character by Hamlin Garland (1898)
The Civil War Reminiscences of Major Silas T. Grisamore, C.S.A. by Arthur W. Bergeron (1993)
Hamlin Garland Papers, Doheny Library, University of Southern California.
Grant's First Sweetheart Coming to Los Angeles, Los Angeles Herald, by William E. Rothery, Aug. 5th, 1900.
Cadet Grant's First Visit Home, McClures Magazine, Volume 8 (1897)
The Generals Wife: The Life of Mrs. Ulysses S. Grant by Ishbel Ross (1959)
John William Lowe: Failure in Inner Direction, The Ohio History Journal by Carl M. Becker
The Postmaster Was a Lady, The Daily Comet, Feb. 14th, 1997 by Bush Bernard.
Ulysses S. Grant at West Point, 1839 by Sandra Trenholm (2014)
Southern Greens blog: The Family Circle, Oct. 18,2014
Massachusetts Death Records: Catherine Elizabeth Rothery
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| The circus band wagon of Van Amburgh's Menagerie passing by the Astor House in New York City in the 1840's. |
Other than a brief visit before his departure to the Mexican War in 1844 the next time they met was on his departure for his assignment to the west coast in 1852. On this visit Kate described Captain Grant saying, "I did not recognize him - he had changed so." and recalled a moment highlighting Grant's affection toward children, "While we talked the maid brought in my baby...William E. ...about two years old. Mr Grant praised the baby, and wanted it to come to him. But the boy wouldn't do it. But Mr. Grant wouldn't give up, and kept on coaxing the baby until it went to him, and he took it on his knee and played with the boy, and seemed to like him very much. He then reminded me of his words that he spoke on the bridge: 'never go back.'" That was to be the last time they would ever meet.
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| Grant in 1845. |
Then came the love of his life Julia Boggs Dent. After graduating West Point in 1843 Grant first visited Ohio on furlough. Showing his active interest in women he stated " I was impatient to get on my uniform and see how it looked, and probably wanted my old school-mates, particularly the girls, to see me in it."
After furlough Grant was stationed at Jefferson Barracks in St. Louis, Missouri. His West Point roommate Frederick Dent invited him to visit his family who had a farm nearby. Grant visited the Dent family and eventually met his future wife, Fred's sister Julia, and asked for her hand in marriage in the spring of 1844. The marriage however would have to wait four long years as Grant was shipped off to the Mexican War.
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| Grant in 1849 not long after his marriage to Julia. |
Apparently Julia was aware of Grant's past as the following passage about a visit to Georgetown, OH after their marriage in 1848 relates...
"Georgetown seemed...charming to her [Julia] as she strolled along it's shady streets...Wherever she went she made a good impression...all were interested in the vivacious, well-mannered girl from St. Louis. By this time she had heard all about Kate Lowe, Mary King, and the daughters of Senator Thomas Morris, with whom Ulysses had gone horseback riding in his West Point days...Now he was back with his bride and the other girls took careful note of Julia Grant." -The Generals Wife: The Life of Mrs. Ulysses S. Grant by Ishbel Ross
I haven not found further reference to Grant's time with the daughters of Senator Thomas Morris. Morris was a close friend of the family and helped Jesse Grant attain his sons' appointment to West Point. It may just be that the girls were of a similar age to Grant, not necessarily that there was any romantic interest.
There's no doubt these young women had some affect on Grant's life as he was trying to find his place in the world. They likely played an integral role in his learning how to relate to the opposite gender as well. Eventually Grant's "love interests" and their families would find their fortunes cast on opposite sides of a nation torn apart, despite the differences Grant was always loyal to his friends....
John W. Lowe, whose life was beset by hardships, failures and loss, was very close with his sister Kate. Grant became a good friend of Lowe and they wrote each other often. Grant helped convince Lowe to join the military at the time of the Mexican War writing him in a letter from the field: "I should like very much to see you here in command of a volunteer company."
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| Colonel John W. Lowe |
Lowe would again serve when the Civil War broke out as Colonel of the 12th Ohio Infantry. After his first engagement at Scary Creek, WV he was unfortunately accused of cowardice. Not long after he wrote this foreboding poem:
"My day of life is over,
And here I lay me down
In the hot, red field of battle,
In the arms of high renown.
By the shaft of death I'm stricken
In my upward flight to fame,
And I give my life to nothingness
To win a warrior's name."
He lost his life, exposing himself to danger in what some say was a reckless bid to restore his name, during the battle of Carnifax Ferry, WV in September 1861. Grant as president, remembering the family of his old friend, appointed Colonel Lowe's widow as postmistress of Xenia, OH to try to help ease her burden.
Catherine "Kate" Elizabeth Lowe Rothery moved from New York City to Newark, New Jersey by 1870 with her husband Matthew, where he was a successful businessman in the prosperous industrializing northern city. They continued living in the city, watching it grow and change with immigration, showcasing the rapid progress of the northern cities of the era.
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| The bustling northern city of Newark, New Jersey in 1874. |
The lived into their 80's outliving all but 2 of their 6 children. Their son William E. , with whom Grant had played with as a toddler, interviewed his mother about Grant while working as a writer for the Los Angeles Herald in 1900. After her husband's death, Kate moved in with her son John J. E. in Massachusetts where she passed away in 1906 at the age of 89.
Mary Ann King Fulford married Virginia native John D. Fulford in Ohio on July 20th, 1848 about a month before Grant married Julia. They soon moved to Thibodaux, Louisiana where John was a successful businessman. Their fortunes changed dramatically during the Civil War. John's brother James who was living with them when war broke out is said to have left and joined the Confederate forces in North Carolina. John himself is even noted as having visited the Confederate camps at Corinth, Missisipi shortly after the Battle of Shiloh in April 1862, a battle which created controversy in Grant's career. By 1862 Thibodaux was occupied by northern forces and plantation owners were forced to pay their slaves wages, which they did begrudgingly. It was a tough time for businesses and the hardships continued after the close of the war. John did what he could but tragically died of a long illness in October of 1870, leaving his family in need. Grant became aware of the need and his loyalty and compassion shined though once again as he appointed Mary Fulford as Postmistress for Thibodaux. She only held the office for a short time, declining the office on advice from friends that it may not be appropriate. Regardless I'm sure the gesture was well appreciated.
Mary would have been witness to turbulent times in the south as the former white masters attempted to restore a system as close to the pre-war slavery as they could. Labor unions formed and the struggle sometimes turned bloody, such as in the Thibodaux Massacre of 1887.
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| Workers cutting sugar cane in Louisianna in the 1880's. Mary was active in the local Presbyterian church, operating the Sunday school through difficult times, and was a respected member of the community. When she passed away in December 1903 she was remembered as "...a lady kind and gentle; of dignified bearing yet humble in manner; a lady devoted to her family, faithful to her friends and true and reverential to her God." Her grandchildren donated a stained glass window in her honor to the First Presbyterian Church in 1907 and she was again honored by a Sunday school building being named after her in 1954. |
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| A view of Jackson Ave, the street Mary King Fulford lived on in Thibodaux, LA. |
Sources:
Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant (1885)
Ulysses S. Grant: Triumph Over Adversity by Brooks Simpson (2000)
Ulysses S. Grant: His Life and Character by Hamlin Garland (1898)
The Civil War Reminiscences of Major Silas T. Grisamore, C.S.A. by Arthur W. Bergeron (1993)
Hamlin Garland Papers, Doheny Library, University of Southern California.
Grant's First Sweetheart Coming to Los Angeles, Los Angeles Herald, by William E. Rothery, Aug. 5th, 1900.
Cadet Grant's First Visit Home, McClures Magazine, Volume 8 (1897)
The Generals Wife: The Life of Mrs. Ulysses S. Grant by Ishbel Ross (1959)
John William Lowe: Failure in Inner Direction, The Ohio History Journal by Carl M. Becker
The Postmaster Was a Lady, The Daily Comet, Feb. 14th, 1997 by Bush Bernard.
Ulysses S. Grant at West Point, 1839 by Sandra Trenholm (2014)
Southern Greens blog: The Family Circle, Oct. 18,2014
Massachusetts Death Records: Catherine Elizabeth Rothery
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